When Your Child Struggles to Read… and You Know Exactly How They Feel

You hated reading as a child. You never told your parents why. And now you're watching your child make the same face you used to make.

That little sigh.

The wiggling in the chair.

The sudden need for a snack.

The way they stare at the page without actually reading anything.

And perhaps the hardest part?

You recognise it.

Because you remember being that child.

Maybe reading was exhausting. Maybe the words wouldn't stick. Maybe you understood a story perfectly when someone read it to you, but struggled when you had to read it yourself.

Maybe you were told you weren't trying hard enough.

Maybe you were called lazy.

Or perhaps you simply decided:

"I'm not a reader."

And eventually, you found ways to avoid it.

Now you're watching your child struggle, and something feels very familiar.

When your child's struggle brings back your own.

Parents who struggled with reading themselves can carry a lot of emotion into their child's reading journey.

You may think:

I should know how to help.

I don't want them to struggle like I did.

What if I'm making it worse?

I don't want my child to go through what I went through.

So you sit beside them.

You encourage.

You explain.

You tell them to sound it out.

And when frustration takes over, you might find yourself stepping in and doing it for them.

Then comes the guilt.

Did I help them- or did I make them more dependent on me?

First, take a breath.

Your child's reading journey doesn't have to be your reading journey.

You are not watching your childhood happen again.

You're supporting a different child, with different strengths, different challenges and access to information and support that may not have existed when you were growing up.

And perhaps you now understand your own struggles differently too.

Maybe you realise your brain simply processed information differently.

Maybe you were never given an explanation for why reading felt so difficult.

Your child doesn't have to wait until they're an adult to understand their own brain.

Reading is more than reading

For a long time, reading difficulties were often met with one simple solution:

"They need to practise more."

But reading isn't just about knowing letters and sounding out words.

Children use a range of skills when they read, including:

• Visual tracking - moving their eyes smoothly across the page
• Visual processing -making sense of what they see
• Working memory -holding information in mind while continuing to read
• Phonological awareness -noticing and working with sounds in words
• Attention and regulation - staying engaged with the task

When some of these skills are difficult, reading can take a lot more effort.

And sometimes, that effort looks like avoidance.

Your child may not hate books.

They may hate how reading feels.

That's an important difference.

Before you open the reading book, try this

Instead of going straight from "Time for homework" to "Read this page," try a 5-minute brain-and-body warm-up first.

Keep it playful. There are no right or wrong answers.

👀 1. Follow My Finger

Use your finger to draw shapes slowly in the air.

Ask your child to follow your finger with their eyes only.

Try:

→ Left to right
→ Up and down
→ Big circles
→ Lazy 8s

Then draw a shape, letter or number and ask:

"What did I draw?"

🧠 2. Remember 3

Say three simple words:

Dog – apple – shoe

Ask your child to repeat them.

Then add a little movement:

"Touch your head, clap twice and jump. Now what were the three words?"

You're helping your child practise holding information in mind while doing something else.

👂 3. Sound Detective

Choose a simple word:

SUN

Ask:

"What sound can you hear at the beginning of sun?"

Then play with words:

sun → fun → run

Can your child think of another word?

Keep it playful- you're playing with sounds, not testing them.

🔎 4. Find It Fast

Before reading, choose one letter or word from the page.

"Can you find every 'a'?"

Then try:

"Can you find all the words that start with /s/?"

This encourages your child to look carefully across a busy page.

🤸 5. Move Before You Read

Sometimes the best preparation for reading isn't another worksheet.

Try 30 seconds of movement:

• 10 jumps
• Wall pushes
• Cross-crawls
• Animal walks
• Throw and catch

Then sit down and read.

Then open the book

Now watch how your child reads - not just how much they read.

Do they:

• Lose their place?
• Skip words or lines?
• Guess words?
• Forget what they just read?
• Avoid looking at the page?
• Become frustrated very quickly?

These behaviours aren't proof of a particular difficulty, but they can give you clues about where your child may need more support.

And most importantly:

Struggling with reading doesn't mean your child is lazy.

It doesn't mean they're not trying.

Sometimes their brain simply needs a different way in.

The reading homework has started.

Before another reading session turns into another battle, try something different.

Pause.

Play.

Warm up the brain.

Then read.

Your child's reading journey doesn't have to be yours.

You don't have to erase your own childhood experience.

You can use it to give your child something different:

Understanding, patience and the opportunity to discover how their own brain learns best.

💛 Make Reading Fun Again

Join our Starter Challenge for simple, play-based activities designed to support the foundational skills behind reading- without turning every afternoon into another battle over homework.

Because reading doesn't always have to start with the book.

Sometimes, it starts with play.